How to handle negative emotions (without burying them)

 So 2020 is definitely a very interesting year. Or let’s just be honest, it is a sh*tshow. Everything is so heightened this year. And as an empath and an HSP, I am feeling all the feels.  It is not easy to handle negative emotions…

It just feels like rowing against the current…Sounds familiar to you too?

The thing with being on a spiritual growth journey…or just sailing through the water’s of life in general. YOU ALWAYS learn something. You GROW. You EXPERIENCE and BECOME MORE with every moment.

Well, these past two days were horrible… I got my period, and got into a little disagreement with hubs and I just got so triggered…. 

I just started feeling all the feels (except only the bad ones)… I started having down the loophole of nothing is working out in a way I want to in my life. (You know when you start to make a list of important things in life, and with a sad cloud over your head you just see EVERYTHING negatively?)

Some chocolate, ice-cream, a Crying songs playlist, and about 2 hours of crying, a chat with my bestie, 2 hours of Netflix Binge watching later, a list of how to get out of a bad mood/how to handle negative emotions was born.

Just put on a smile they said…⁠

⁠Well now you can see this is my smile after about 2 hours of crying…(well I fixed my face with some makeup for a quick video call after…)⁠

I was thinking…

WHY does society consider it being weak if you are not “strong” all the time? Like if something bad happens, or you are in a downward spiral and you can’t just keep it together? Why do you have to always just pretend it is all good, and shake it off just as if nothing had happened??⁠ Why is it a “normal” thing to do to suppress or bury our feelings and just go on with our days?

Well, I, my friend, definitely am an advocate of a good cry….The type of cry when you are sobbing as loud as you want to. Where you let it all out, not holding it back. That type of cleansing, healing cry. ⁠

I am an advocate of letting yourself be vulnerable, showing real, raw emotions, and most importantly, ALLOWING yourself to FEEL them. To SIT with them. Especially if you are so deeply in them at that moment, that you feel like nothing can snap you out of it.⁠

Here goes my step by step guide on how to handle bad/negative emotions effectively (where you don’t just sweep them under the rug)

1. When you are feeling down, anxious, sad, frustrated, resentful, etc. check-in with yourself first: Is this feeling/energy mine? Or it belongs to someone else? 

If it gets light, then it is someone else’s. That case, imagine and think that you send them back these emotions (you don’t have to know whose they were, especially because sometimes we just pick on energy and emotions from random people and the collective)

If it is heavy after you ask this question, then it is yours. That’s fine too, you will be able to work on it.

I want you to know, IT IS OKAY to feel whatever you are feeling. Allow yourself to feel it first, even if it is scary to go there. I am not asking you to sink into it, just let yourself feel it for a little bit. 

2. In order to process it and release it, sometimes we need to just feel it first and allow ourselves to acknowledge it.

You are not weaker if you let yourself FEEL, on the contrary,  you are actually brave and strong for being honest and vulnerable!

3. If you feel like you need to just be with the feeling a little bit and acknowledged the feeling/emotion, try to just sit with it. Watch a movie, cry it out, listen to some sad songs, that will help you cry as well if that feels good. If you want to take a nap, do that. Follow your needs at that moment. Journal about it.

IMPORTANT NOTE:

In order to PROCESS emotions, first, you have to give yourself PERMISSION to FEEL them and not sweep them under the rug, or suppress them. Once you give it space, journal about it, oftentimes it turns out, that the root of the feeling was something else than you were originally upset about. ⁠

What are you feeling exactly? What made you feel this way? Is it just an emotion on the surface for something deeper? Or is it just a current emotion you are feeling because of a situation that happened earlier?⁠

And then here is a KEY question next:

Can I change this feeling/situation? If yes how? What is one thing I can do about it?

3.a: If the answer is no, here are a few things you can do:

– LET it GO and don’t worry about it now and have faith that it will turn out according to your highest good

– Go for a walk/run, and clear your mind. The change of environment will make your headspace fresh and elevate your mood as well.??‍♀️⁠

-Dance, jump, shake it out

-Scream into a pillow, box the pillow

-Meditate, do some deep breathing, etc

Sometimes the answer to this question is, just to TALK to someone (a friend, a coach) about it.

3.b: If the answer is, YES, you can do something about it:

??What is ONE thing I can do about it?

-Write a plan on the next steps and act on it now. (This will kickoff the motion and put you in a different vibe too)

4. Visualize how you want to feel/live in a year. Embrace the emotions and feel them in every cell of yours.

5. Be grateful for your journey, your challenges, and accept where you are now. 

Sometimes all you need is just to surrender and go with the flow. Let go of the control and wanting to plan everything and good things will start happening for you.

And there, you have it! Your step by step list on how to process/handle emotions, without burying them or sweeping them under the rug!

Let me know in the comments, how the steps are going for you and if you need help with any of them!

P.s:  I have a few 1:1 coaching spots available from October, so if you wanted to have a connection call and see if we would be a good fit, BOOK a free of charge 30-minute one HERE!